


Hey There, Baby!

by MisSuzyQ



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Baby, Babysitting, Cute, Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3294674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisSuzyQ/pseuds/MisSuzyQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Engineer and Soldier do a little bit of babysitting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey There, Baby!

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted this months ago on Tumblr.  
> I guess this is more like a prompt thing or a short compare/contrast story. So I held a baby a few weeks before writing this (my coworker was showing her new son off) and thought, "I bet Engineer holding a baby would be cute" then I thought "well you can't have Engineer without Soldier holding a baby." Yeah that's what this thing is. I don't know how good it is or how true to their characters you think it is.

Normally when Soldier kicked Engineer’s front door open, he would be greeted with a loving peck to the cheek from Engineer and a cheerful bark from their basset hound. Today, it caused an ear-shattering cry to echo rampantly through the tiny wooden house, drowning out a low-key howl from Betsy. That sort of cry was easily identifiable but Soldier remained skeptical. It wasn’t possible. The squeaks that accompanied his cautious steps into the living room were smothered by the noise. Removing his helmet, he stared at Engineer, only wearing a shirt, jeans and a glove, gently bobbing up and down with an incredibly small human in his arms. As his bare feet paced around the living room, the howling Betsy followed closely to continually draw attention to the crying.

Other people would have been struck dumb at such a sight of their lover spontaneously holding a baby; however, Solider is far different than other people. He immediately yelled over the noise. “You couldn’t wait to ask me before rescuing an unfortunate Communist baby?” No response was given due to Engineer’s desperation to calm the frightened child. Then another explanation popped into his mind. “Don’t tell me! You were originally a woman?” Engineer immediately stopped and lifted his attention to Soldier, anger flickering in his green eyes. “I thought you were biologically a man! I didn’t think you had surgery! This explains why you got a little fat recently.”

“Jane where the hell did you get an idea like that? What you’ve been seeing is real! And I didn’t get any fatter!” Sighing, he decided to just be grateful that Soldier didn’t assume the baby was a result of an affair he didn’t have. With the baby now silently comfortable, he walked to the confused man. “This here’s Emma, my sort-of-neighbors’ newest daughter.”

“The sort-of-neighbors that’s a Mormon bishop that keeps trying to convince me that I’m still a member?”

“He says the missionaries kindly request that you put you stop firing at them when they visit.” Engineer was once again thankful that Soldier never suspected that he told his neighbor about his long time ex-membership in order to avoid the missionaries.

“I will when they realize I happily ex-communicated myself a long time ago!”

“Anyways, this is their number six. They went off for some big church camp thing, and, well, I love babies so I-” Engineer neared his man only to stagger back. Gun smoke and blood reeked from Soldier’s coat. “You didn’t shower none after work?”

“I showered,” Soldier replied, closing in on Engineer.

“You’re a mighty terrible liar!” Tilting to his left, Engineer guarded the front of his body from Soldier. “No! You ain’t getting near me ‘til you get clean!” He began turning in circles to avoid contact between Emma and the filthy Soldier that desperately wanted to face him.

“Come on, Dell, I don’t smell that bad!”

“I’ll ban you from me like I banned Pyro from Emma!” With raised eyebrow, Soldier looked back into the kitchen. His team mate looked particularly depressed with his chin resting on the mahogany table. “Boy keeps handing her things babies ain’t got no business having. Plus that suit’s dirty with ash and everything. So ‘less you want to be like Pyro, I suggest you go wash up and put on some my clothes!”

“I can’t be naked?”

“Emma don’t need to be seeing what you got down there!”

“Fine.” Waiting a split second for Engineer to lower his guard, Soldier kissed Engineer on the right cheek before heading off to the shower but wasn’t fast enough to escape a friendly kick to the ass.

Shifting Emma around in his arms, Engineer spoke to the infant in his normal Texan drawl. He always thought “baby talk” was degrading no matter who or what a person was talking to. “My Jane might be a killer and none too smart but he’ll do right by you.” Using his real hand to support her neck, he laid her frail head against his sturdy collarbone. A tiny hand latched onto his white shirt. “You sure got a good grip there!” Lightly, he assaulted kisses onto the hand to extract a smile.

Though Engineer was quick to cast Soldier away, he couldn’t be more grateful for him to break into his house. Since Emma was left in his care hours ago, he couldn’t stop thinking about family. Honestly, he hadn’t imagined raising children to become engineers like his father and grandfather before him since he began dating Soldier.

When his neighbor left Emma, he commented about how it was a shame that he seemed like a family man but, unlike him, couldn’t have a family past death into eternity. All Engineer did was shrug and say, “well, I’m an atheist anyways,” without further thought. But the more Engineer interacted with the small bundle of life, the more he found the idea of raising his own children appealing again. Not for eternity. Just the short time he had upon this planet would be enough. Each thought of how nice it would be to have his own family was shot down by reality. With his job, a family wouldn’t be good between it being secret and the constant demand of his time. Besides, he knew Soldier wouldn’t want a child no matter if he was good with children like he imagined. The thoughts swirling in his mind increased his tiredness of his body and soul. He desperately hoped his lover would stop them when he returned.

With Betsy at his side, Engineer traveled to the stove. He could easily reach the pan he needed with his Gunslinger arm but he hesitated. Behind him was a being that was clearly devastated to be forced away from the sort-of-neighbor. Something in him told him he would regret his kindness. “If you promise not to hand Emma a lit match, I’ll let you boil us some water here.” His sentence barely finished and Pyro hovered beside him with thick lenses locked on the infant. Emma’s hazel eyes grew as she pulled Engineer’s shirt closer to her face for protection. “Don’t worry none. I won’t let him set you ablaze.”

Under Engineer’s supervision, the burner was sparked into life and offered a small pot full of water. Soon the water bubbled into life with a pink bottle bobbing in it. The liquid heated to perfection though Emma wasn’t ready for it yet. With both hands, Pyro carried the meal into the living room where Engineer decided to lay Emma on the floor. The infant fussed until Engineer laid on his right side and tickled her stomach with his left hand.

“Come here Betsy and talk to Emma a little while,” Engineer patted the wooden floor. Eagerly, the basset hound approached the baby. Her tail wagged even as the small human tugged on her long, caramel ear. “Emma, that hurts her sweet little ears!” Aided by his hand, Emma’s curled fingers stroked the soft fur along the muzzle. The tiny fingers uncurled at the wet nose to shove into the two holes, causing Betsy to flinch back. “Don’t be sticking your fingers in her nose!” Emma reached up to dig her fingers into his nostrils. “Not mine either,” he said as he tickled her sides. “Ain’t nobody wants fingers in their nose!”

“I stick my fingers in my nose all the time.”

Engineer instinctively struck Soldier behind. The absence of Engineer’s touch caused a loud cry accompanied by a howl. “Sorry there,” he said, grasping one of the tiny hands. “And I love you and all but I ain’t picking your nose anytime soon.” Yawning, he examined his man sitting behind him. He loved when Soldier wore the white cotton shirt that hugged the indents of his muscles perfectly and unfastened overalls. In a tired voice he told Soldier, “you smell good, Jane. I’m glad you showered.”

“Are you tired?”

“Just hit me here and now. I’ve had this little woman here almost all day and I got her most of tomorrow too. She’s fine company but she’s exhausting.”

“How’s it exhausting? This is easy work!”

“Easy work?”

“Sure! What’s hard about it? That’s why women stay at home to care for children because it’s easy.”

Engineer glanced to Betsy who wasted no time in agreeing with his extremely recent plan. Rapidly standing from his spot on the floor, Engineer ran out of the living room with Betsy, yelling as he exited his home, “SENTRY DOWN!”

“SENTRY DOWN,” Soldier exclaimed as he rose to his feet. It wasn’t until he heard crying that awareness sank in. He wasn’t on the battlefield. He was left alone to deal with a job entrusted to his man. “Dammit Dell! Come back here and take care of your sort-of-neighbor like a…Pyro! No!” 

Pyro had waited a full three hours to give Emma a lollipop. There was a drawer full of them and it seemed like such a shame that his roommate couldn’t share just one. Surely that tiny girl was tired of having milk all the time. The lollipop would have been hers if Soldier hadn’t ripped it from his hands and thrown it into the wall.

“Steak knives are for three years old! If anything, she needs a tiny pocket knife! I got one here somewhere.” Soldier dug into the pockets before realizing he wasn’t wearing his own clothes. At the feet of the distraught baby, Pyro fought against the need to reach down. “I’ll take care of this,” he said as he pushed the pyromaniac aside. Sitting at Emma’s feet, he leaned over with the tip of his nose an inch away from hers. The closed eyes didn’t see him so he decided to yell in order to obtain her attention. “Listen to me you snot-rag-crying-hippie-simpleton! If you know what’s-” Emma’s fist smacked hard against his jaw. “You will regret-” Another fist jabbed into his nose.

A pair of black rubber gloves pulled Emma to the side. Soldier’s head snapped up to see the person clearly instructed to not touch Emma holding her with a bottle in hand. “I will not sleep alone tonight because of you!” As the baby was gently shoved into his chest, his arms naturally rose to support the delicate body. Slowly, Pyro removed his arms and forced Soldier’s right hand to hold the bottle. Between the dumbfounded on the warrior’s face and seeing the petite, weak, adorable body rest on the arm of the big, muscular, not-nearly-as-adorable man, Pyro couldn’t help but giggle as he found Engineer’s camera and preserved the moment.

Strange feelings developed in Soldier while he paced the living room with the first baby he ever held. Every detail of her was precious from the rosy blush on her cheeks to her light, untainted soul. Within his chest he felt his heart beat a little softer. Only two things kept his sanity from collapsing from adoration. The first thing was his will to not feel controlled by a person no matter how ‘precious’ they might be. The second thing was that he had to remain firm in order to not come across as weak to Engineer whenever he decided to return. Yet, despite those two facts, all he could focus on was Emma so much so that he didn’t notice Engineer watching him from the nearby window.

In a matter of minutes, the bottle was empty. Dropping the bottle, Solider saw Pyro making a swinging motion with his arms. Soldier decided it was a wise plan of action and headed to the rocking chair. “I am going to rock this chair and you are going to sleep,” he proclaimed once he sat in the wooden chair. “Is that understood?” The small face nestled into his chest. Fingers grasped the cotton fabric. “This is my shirt! You have your own!” The hand was ripped away.

Suddenly the world around them became dark. A break of light slowly emerged with Pyro’s face, poking Soldier on the nose when he realized that he had been covered with a blanket. “Fantastic work!” He was quick to cocoon the infant with the blanket. Seeing his work was good, he rested his palm lightly on her chest and tapped over the heart with his index finger. “Ha! Now you can’t-” The hand squeezed away from confinement to grasp the digit. Though he was considerably stronger than the hand wrapped around his finger, he lacked the strength to free himself.

Pushing his bare feet onto the wooden floor, Soldier set the rocking chair into a slow, steady motion. The muffled creak of the legs rubbing against the floor was all the music he thought he needed until a muffled song began to seep from the reclining chair next to him and caused the tiny human to whimper.

“Stop that,” Soldier loudly commanded, making eye contact with thick lenses as he brought the chair to a halt. The gas masked being was silent, then, pointing at him, grumbled. “I need to sing?” Pyro nodded. “I don’t-” Around his finger the grip became tighter. Looking down, he saw Emma look at him for the first time. No, not looking at him. Those wide, hazel eyes spoke to him, begging him to keep her safe in his strong arms, pleading for him not disappear when her eyes closed.

“You’re afraid of being alone, aren’t you,” Solider asked, the tone of his voice grew soft due to the unusual feeling of empathy that suddenly filled his body. Loneliness was a constant companion through his life; recognizing it for other people was incredibly easy for him. No doubt she was always surrounded by loving faces, making the idea of single unit terrifying. Sharp pain caused by her fingernails digging into his skin told him he was right. “Don’t worry, I won’t abandon you. Close your eyes.” With a light push of his feet against the cold floor, they began to rock again. Her body resisted the tiredness that came with the soothing motion and the gentle touch as he rubbed his thumb over the back of her smooth hand. “I’ll be here.” After a breath, he plucked through old songs cluttered in his mind and found one suitable for the girl he rocked. Though he realized his voice was not the best, he sang to her in his scratchy voice.

_I hear a bird chirping up in the sky, I’d like to be free like that, spread my wings so high_

_I see the river flowing, water running by, I’d like to be that river, see what I might find_

_I feel the wind a-blowing, slowly changing time, I’d like to be the wind, I’d swirl and shape the sky_

_I smell the flowers blooming, opening for spring, I’d like to be those flowers, open to everything_

Soldier kept his eyes on her, watching as Emma’s tiny eyelids grew unbearably heavy and as her breathing slowed with the drowsy comfort that finally overwhelmed her. Even with her asleep, he kept gazing at the young face as he rocked back and forth. While the sleepy energy seeped into his body, he wondered if this sort of loving peace was something he could have or handle on a day to day basis. Whatever the answer, all his senses relaxed in the simple silence.

Slowly opening the back door, Engineer sneaked back into his own house alongside Betsy. Together they quietly walked to the rocking chair. Nothing in Engineer wanted to break the near perfect image that was directly in front of him. Still, he felt the need to hear an apology. “You look tired! What’s the matter, boy? That’s easy work there!”” The chair ceased it’s rocking motion.

Without looking away, Soldier replied, “I have broken my back over the past few hours to provide Emma with everything she needed!”

“I left you alone for thirty minutes at best.”

“Bullshit! You left at,” Soldier finally turned his head to read the clock. “well, uh…”

“Just imagine how tired you’d be if you had that pretty little angel since seven a.m.”

“Oh God! Dell, come here!” Though his legs wobbled, Soldier stood on his feet and stepped beside the rocker “Now sit!” Engineer closed his eyes as he slid onto the piece of furniture before quickly opening them when Soldier sat on his lap. “Good to see the chair can hold us even though you got fat.”

“Boy, you’re lucky to be holding that girl or else you’d get what’s coming,” Engineer threatened with a smile that only grew when Soldier kissed it. With the bridge of Soldier’s nose pressed into the side of his neck, Engineer began to slowly rock the three of them back and forth.

There was a hushed, rhythmic wheeze coming from the reclining chair. Engineer glanced over to see Pyro swaying with Betsy in his arms. Smiling, he closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the short, brown hair. Sleep quickly possessed him then gradually dissolved from him upon hearing a small voice call out his name over Betsy’s howl.

As the voice came closer, it became more recognizable to Engineer as Emma’s four year old sister. Sure enough, when his eyes opened, he saw Pyro rewarded with a hug for placing the little girl in a blue summer dress on Soldier’s legs. Though he was quite content in his sleep, Engineer smiled at the girl that poked his cheeks in determination to be noticed. In a groggy voice, he said, “Leonora, I thought you were camping!” Carefully, he poked her cheeks back.

"Brigham got sick so we're going home and we just have to take Emma home."

"Just haveta, huh?"

"We just have to," she confirmed with a sigh.

Grinning, Engineer kept his laughter. He felt a nose adjust deeper into his neck. “Oh, by the way, this is Jane, that fella of mine I keep talking about.”

“Where is he?”

“You’re sitting on him.”

Wide eyed, Leonora looked down. She tapped Soldier’s muscular neck, causing him to sit up and glare drowsily as she waved. “Hey, Jane, this is my sister.”

Into the living room the mother stepped, freezing when she sees her daughters happily with the gay couple. All she could think of was Heavenly Father’s idea of family slowly becoming tainted in their daughters’ hearts. If she knew he was going to be there, she would have stayed home. Somehow she managed to say, “I didn’t realize you were going to be here, Brother Doe.” 

“Mommy his name is Jane and he’s doing a good job!” Leonora patted Soldier’s hand, causing him to grin.

“Leonora, help Mommy carry Emma’s things into the car.”

Engineer yawned. “We’ll-”

“Leonora can get it,” the mother interrupted Engineer, her smile poorly masking her emotions. Pyro sprinted to the baby bag. “I said Leonora can get it!” But it was too late. If it wasn’t for the phobia that seeped from her, Engineer and Soldier would have worried about Pyro burning the items in the distance between his house and the car. Betsy stared her down as she approached the group and plucked Emma from Soldier’s care. “We’re going home.”

Collapsing backwards, Leonora turned and hugged Engineer’s neck. “Goodbye Dell,” she exclaimed before kissing his cheek. Soldier tried his best to dodge the hug and kiss. Though he avoided the kiss, he couldn’t avoid a hug around his torso. “Goodbye Jane! One day you’ll be good daddies!”

“Sweetie, they can’t have a family.” The mother bit her lip at the thought she meant to wait until later to verbalize.

Soldier lifted Leonora up and stood. Around his shoulders he could feel her hold him. “Lady, what are you talking about? Firstly, I’m not your brother, I’m happily ex-communicated! Secondly, I have a family! It’s not eternal and I’m not getting a planet out of it but it’s a good family!” Behind him Engineer pushed him forward in order to stand behind him. Engineer’s hand ran up and down his spine.

Taking a deep breath, Engineer suddenly realized what should have been the obvious reason why he hadn’t wanted a family since Soldier. “We got ourselves a little family here; me, Jane, Betsy, Pyro, and the fellas we work with. It ain’t normal but it’s alright by us.” As if by cue, Pyro ran back inside, scooped up Betsy, and stood at their side. “I hope y’alls can respect me and mine like I respect you and yours.”

For a moment, the mother was silent, putting together words that sounded polite in her mind. Though she smiled sweetly, the light in her eyes was astringent. “Of course our family loves and respects you. We just want you become a better person. Now, Brigham is waiting in the car so we really should leave. We’ll see you later!” The conversation was forced to a close upon her turning around to exit. A soft kiss struck Soldier’s cheek right after a small voice whispered that they were a good family into his ear. The dose of kindness unexpectedly made Leonora difficult for Soldier to let go, however, he found it within himself to slowly lower the girl to the floor. Silence filled the home the moment the women left.

There was no resistance from Soldier as Engineer pulled him against his weary body. Wrapping his arms around Engineer, Soldier lightly pressed his lips onto Engineer’s and allowed the bald head to rest against his face, feeling all of the weight against his skull. Soldier tried to gaze into Engineer’s eyes but they were prisoners to sleep. “Did you just fall asleep, Dell Conagher?” An incoherent mumble was his answer. “Dammit, you were conscious and ready for action!” Nothing. “I’m taking you to bed but next time I carry you into the bedroom it better be followed promptly by intercourse!” Bending backwards slightly, he dragged the man down the hall into the bedroom. Contact with the back of his thighs against the mattress instantly made Soldier leap onto the middle of the bed. Just as he was going to roll onto his side, Engineer slid his head onto his heart and inserted his hand under his shirt to directly feel the rise and fall of his chest.

Over the edge of the bed came two different whimpers. Figuring it was Pyro begging to lift Betsy onto the bed, he simply slapped the sheets. Instead, not only did Betsy drape herself across Engineer’s body to lay her head upon his stomach but a gas mask rested on his right shoulder before wrapping arms around the men. “You didn’t do a single damn thing to deserve being tired,” Soldier said. The complaint drowned in snore-like wheezes. Somehow he didn’t care that his words went unheard. Like Engineer, his body drifted into the relaxing comfort of the loving peace around them.

**Author's Note:**

> What Soldier was singing was part of one of my favorite songs, [Bird Song by the Wailin Jennys.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h2QC3nM-Ec)
> 
> "Mormons? Really?"
> 
> Yeah, where did that come from? I kind of don't know. Well, I kind of do. You see, I grew up as a Mormon and one of the main focuses within that church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, yeah, you picture being a five year old telling people what church you go to) and, related to families, one of the more attractive aspects of their belief towards family is that it can last forever. Not until you die but beyond our comprehension of time as it were. Of course in order to do that you have to be an active member, meaning be baptized, be married in the temple to another Mormon (and get your Magic Mormon Underwear!) and bind your family together in what's called a temple sealing or, how I call all of this temple/tithing stuff (oh and you have to keep up a 10% of your every income tithing to go to the temple), fulfilling your membership requirement for the fanclub. Really, have you read The Book of Mormon? It's a giant fanfiction of The Holy Bible that got really popular with a crazy fanbase.Wait, I was going somewhere...ah yes, families being extremely important. Mormon families tend to be big and tend to be tight knit with loyal members (6 kids is about average, I call big 10+ passenger vans "Mormon-mobiles" for good reason) and they do really seem like the idea of a perfect family. Close, loving and happy.  
> Somehow I always saw Engineer as a family guy since his employment is a family thing (well at least since Radigan for all we know). I mean he seems like a family man in general but I kind of saw that somehow as a reason for a family. Y'know, keep up tradition.So I guess I kind of wanted to see how that idea family matched up with what Engineer originally wanted and how it wasn't quite the family Engineer currently has (or at least how I currently have his family as). And I guess while I was at it I threw in how their family, two men, a pyromaniac, a dog and coworkers wouldn't line up with what a family is "suppose" to be. Just look at [The Proclamation to the World.](http://basicmormonbeliefs.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/The-Proclamation.png) I grew up knowing that a family could only be with a husband and a wife and that their purpose was to have children. That's a Mormon document but by god if Mormons aren't the only ones arrogant enough to believe in such a structure. So I guess that's all why? I still don't know for sure. Might also be because, when I started this, the song ["Love at Home"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn5UeEFw4QQ) popped into my mind. Even if I still don't believe, the Mormon Tab. Choir will always sound badass to me!
> 
> As for Soldier being once a member, I see him being a theist that has tested the waters of different faiths only to have his own way of "keeping God in his heart." I got that headcannon from the fact that he's a priest in Guam and how he says, "God bless America," and "sweet mother of Joseph." (I think it's something like that) Plus, I'm humored at the idea of him getting baptized and going to a bible class and loudly declaring it all to be bullshit before being escorted out.


End file.
